A Soulful Journey

Once a powerful warlord gathered his massive army & attacked his neighbor, a small nearly defenseless country.  War commenced & against conventional wisdom, the tiny army threw back the bigger. How was this possible?  “All my warriors,” said the king “shared the same concerns, they knew their neighbors.  Their children depended on them.  The homes were close to each other.  They fought for themselves.  That was their secret.” When we fight for those  who  we love God gives us the  strength along with our inner determination.

When baseball’s Henry Aaron hit his 175th home run breaking Babe Ruth’s record, he said, “I don’t remember the noise, or the two kids that ran on the field. My teammates at home plate,  I remember seeing them. I remember my mother out there and she hugging me. That’s what I’ll remember more than anything about that home run when I think back on it.  I don’t know where she came from, but she was there…” - interview with George Plimpton This is what matters, what we yearn for.  Connection with the people who love us most dearly and whom we look up to.  Make that call today.  You know which ones.

“Feelings are so unpredictable.  How does anyone stay married for forty years?  This, it seems, is more of a miracle than the parting of the red Sea, though my father, in his naiveté, holds the latter to be a greater achievement.” – Woody Allen No, love and maintaining is surely the greater.

"...Caracalla [second century Roman ruler], who, having instigated the assassination of his brother, consented to the latter's deification.  Let him be a god, as long as he is not alive!"  - Salo Baron There has always been sibling rivalry, as far back as Cain and Abel  The lesson is obvious: we are not ready to improve ourselves, let alone the world, until we learn to get along with our family.

“I never forgot about what I want to do,” said Kruk, who batted .316 last season and who in eight years in the majors has a career average of .300. “I never forgot about baseball. But my main focus was getting my radiation and killing the cancer. I think the Phillies even think that I’ve been working out every day, but the other day I was tired, I didn’t go. But it came to the point where even if my skills aren’t going to be a sharp when I come back, so be it. I’d rather hit .220 and live and hit .300 in cash it in at the end of the season.”

Some years ago, the lead coach of the University of Alabama, Bear Bryant, was asked to do a commercial for Southern Belle telephone. Coach Bryant's part in the commercial simple: he was to have only one line. At the conclusion of the text of the commercial, Bryant was supposed to say, as though barking orders to his players, “Call your momma!”  At the filming of the commercial, something unexpected happened. As Coach Bryant turned towards the camera, tears welled up in his eyes as he said, “Call your mama. I sure wish I could call mine.” The telephone company aired the commercial as found. The impact was overwhelming.  Television stations were flooded with calls by those who had been touched by the sensitivity and tenderness of Coach Bryant. Many were prompted to call their own mothers or another relative or friend that they had meaning to contact but never did. Do not wait until the moment has passed  for then it may be too late.

"Before you take a wife study her brothers."   -Talmud, Baba Batra 110a They knew long ago what psychology has newly discovered: we take on the habits of our family of origin.

An artist who wanted to paint the most beautiful picture in the world asked a pastor, "What is the most beautiful thing in the world?" "Faith," answered the pastor.  "You can feel it in every house of worship, find it at every altar." The artist asked a young bride the same question. "Love," she replied.  "Love builds poverty into riches, sweetness tears, makes much of little. Without it there is no beauty." A weary soldier said, "Peace is the most beautiful thing in the world. War is ugly. Wherever you find peace you find beauty." "Faith, love and peace! How can I paint them?" thought the artist. Entering his door he saw faith in the eyes of his children and love in the eyes of his wife. And there in his home was the peace that love and faith had built. So he painted the picture of the most beautiful thing in the home. And when when he finished, he called it "HOME."

“When a woman lights the Shabbat candles with joy in her heart, she brings peace into the world, health and happiness to her family, and is blessed with children who   brighten the world.” — The Zohar

One day after the Wall Street crash in 1929, a very unhappy man came to see Rabbi Wise.  The man told a sad story and said that suicide was his only option because at least then he could leave money for his children. He asked Rabbi Wise for advice. The rabbi thought for a moment.  Then he advised the man to speak to his family and ask them if he should commit suicide.  "If they argue against taking your life," Wise advised, "You will know they would rather have you keep living than get the insurance.  If they approve of your proposed suicide, however, I'd go on living just to spite them.  Surely you wouldn't want to sacrifice your life for  such family."  - Lawrence J. Epstein Stay the course.  Another day will come.   And a  new light will dawn.

Rabbi Simon ben Gamliel said: “He who makes peace in his home, Torah ascribes it to him as if he had made peace for every single Jew in Israel.   He who brings jealousy and strife into his house it is as if he brought them among all the people of Israel."   – Avot D’Rabbi Natan A, 28 The world will be in turmoil if our home is in that state.  We need to be less concerned with matters beyond our control and more focussed on what lies within our borders.

My next-door neighbor was devoted to her Yiddish speaking father and invariably understanding of his idiosyncrasies. One morning, however, her patience wore thin.  "Just once, Poppa,” she pleaded, "couldn’t you say ‘please’ or ‘thank you’?" ”What happened? The old gentleman asked. “All of a sudden you’re a stranger?” – Charles Silberman Question: Do you treat strangers better than family?

“Southerners make good novelists: they have so many stories because they have so much family.” – Gore Vidal

Where we live is not inconsequential.    It is as important as the people we work and socialize with.  Often it is as vital as our family.  We are impacted by our environment as much as impact it.    The Sages taught, "When a righteous person is in his place he is its glory.  When he leaves it, there departs also its glory, splendor, and beauty."   -Rashi on Genesis 28:10 Choose to surround yourself with righteous people.

Rav Dimi said that he believed Hillel and Shammai were brothers.  In their lives Hillel was the scholar while Shammai was a businessman.   Rav Dimi also stated that Jacob's sons, Issachar studied at yeshiva and Zevulun went to sea to become a merchant. Both were partners in the world and the next. - Yalkut Shimoni 160 Affording others to travel their own path, knowing they are individuals who do not share our interests while still maintaining love with them is what God wants and expects of us.

We thank You, O God, for our family and for what we mean and bring to one another.   We are grateful for the bonds of loyalty and affection which sustain us and for the capacity to love and to care. Help us to be modest in our demands of one another, but generous in our giving to each other.   May we never measure how much love or encouragement we offer; may we never count the times we forgive.   Rather, may we always be grateful that we have one another and that we are able to express our love in acts of kindness. Keep is gentle in our speech.   When we offer words of criticism, may they be chosen with care and spoken softly.   May we waste no opportunity to speak words of sympathy, of appreciation, of praise. Bless our family with health, happiness, and contentment.  Above all, grant us the wisdom to build a joyous and peaceful home in which Your spirit will always abide.    Amen.      –from Gates of Shabbat, CCAR 19...