A Soulful Journey

 "What sort of fellow can you be-  to sit down and play cards with a fellow who'll sit down and play cards with a fellow like you?"  - Groucho Marx What made Groucho famous was his ability to be self-deprecating and disarming about our human proclivities.  He taught us how to laugh at ourselves.  What a wonderful gift.  Think of how much kinder and friendlier the world would be if we learned to laugh at us.

  “People stopped inviting me to their homes – the same people hadn’t been inviting me for years.” – Groucho Marx Having a sense of humor is always optional, but it makes lifes difficulties and trials so much more bearable when we learn how to laugh at ourselves.

A seventeenth century physician commented, “The arrival of a good clown exercises more beneficial influence upon the health of a town than twenty asses laden with drugs.”  Nothing had changed in four hundred years.  - Thomas Sydenham

A traditional Jew decides that all the mitzvot have become a burden, so he decides to convert to Christianity. The next morning, after his conversion, his wife sees him putting on his tefillin and she yells, "I thought you converted!" He responds by slapping his forehead and saying "Oy, a goyishe kop!" * A Wall Street financier becomes exceedingly wealthy, moves into a multimillion $ condo on Park Ave. and decides to have a housewarming. He invites his elderly Jewish mother but she never shows up. Very concerned, he calls her the first thing next morning: "Mom, I thought you were coming to my party. Where were you?" She replies, "I was in your lobby but I couldn't remember your name." * An (apocryphal) story was told by Groucho Marx about the banker Otto Kahn. Kahn was walking in New York with a friend who suffered from kyphosis.  They passed a synagogue, and Kahn said, "You know, I used to be a Jew." The friend replied, ...

Alfred Hitchcock was known for his practical jokes.  On one occasion he invited the famous actor Sir Gerald du Maurier to a party.  When he turned up heavily masked with heavy grease paint and a scotsman's kilt to a black tie dinner, du Maurier tried to run away. I imagine the actor was mortified.  There is an alternative to escaping an uncomfortable situation, laugh.  Laughing makes life a while lot easier.

"Jews themselves were never fighters. I never see for black people walking in the street in saying, “Watch out! There's a Jew over there!” Let’s be honest. Did you ever see anybody afraid to walk into a Jewish neighborhood because he might get killed by an accountant?” –Jackie Mason A survival skill is knowing how to laugh at ourselves. Here is another:  A character in “My Favorite Year” noted that Jews are familiar with two things, suffering and where to find good Chinese food.

On a busy afternoon, the telephone rang for Rabbi Morris Greenblatt. -“Hello.” “Is this Rabbi Greenblatt?” -“Yes.” “Well, Rabbi Greenblatt, I have heard a great deal about you.   You are a scholar and a very dedicated rabbi.   You are a marvelous preacher.” -“Fine.   But what do you want?” He said, “I will tell you. I represent an association of undertakers and we have discovered a new method of embalming.   We would like to try it out on you.” The caller was Greenblatt’s colleague, Rabbi Max Artz. Today is a good day.   After all, you are alive.   Take time to laugh. It will make today even better.

"Rabbi Raditz of Poland was a very short rabbi which a long beard, who was said to have inspired many pogroms with his sense of humor." - Woody Allen It is good to laugh but it is wise to know when to laugh.

As I stumble through life, help me to create more laughter than tears.  Never let me become so indifferent that I will fail to see the wonder in the eyes of a child.  Never let me forget that my total effort is to cheer people, make them forget, at least momentarily, the unpleasantness of their lives.  And in my final moment, may I hear You whisper: "When you made My people smile, you made Me smile."    - The Clown's Prayer

"There is no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." - Will Rogers

A teacher was explaining to his pupils the part of the Torah where Joseph was sold by his brothers and the subsequent hardships that he endured.   The teacher’s wife sat nearby the entire time and wept bitterly.   The following year the rabbi again explained the same portion and again emphasized Joseph’s misery.   This time the woman went into a fit of laughter, “Are you insane?” the rabbi asked.   “Last year you were crying and now your side are splitting with laughter.” “Shouldn’t one laugh such a fool?”   The woman chuckled.   “After what happened to him last year, why didn’t he learn?” The purpose of rereading the Torah is not to see how it changes form year to year but to measure how we have changed.

1. When you come to a fork in the road, take it. 2. You can observe a lot by just watching. 3. It ain’t over till it’s over. 4. It’s like déjà vu all over again. 5. No one goes there nowadays, it’s too crowded. 6. Baseball is 90% mental and the other half is physical. 7. A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore. 8. Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours. 9. We made too many wrong mistakes. 10. Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken. 11. You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six. 12. You wouldn’t have won if we’d beaten you. 13. I usually take a two-hour nap from one to four. 14. Never answer an anonymous letter. 15. Slump? I ain’t in no slump… I just ain’t hitting. 16. How can you think and hit at the same time? 17. The future ain’t what it used to be. 18. I tell the kids, somebody’s gotta win, somebody’s gotta lose. Just don’t fight about it. Just try to g...

Khaimovich was called to the OVIR office. Khaimovich, I want to know why you have decided to leaver the country,” said the OVIR official. “No, no, you’ve got it all wrong.   I don’t want to leave, my wife does.” “So divorce and let her emigrate by herself.” “Yes, but…it’s not quite that simple.   It’s not only my wife that want   to leave but also her mother.” “What’s the problem? Let those bloody Zionists go. We don’t need them here do we, Khaimovich?” “Yes, well…but there is also my wife’s brother’s family and then there are my wife’s in-laws and their other children.” “So, they’ll go, and you and I will remain to build communism." “But there’s a problem.” “What?” “They can’t leave without me.   I’m the only Jew among them.”

In the last days of the Czar, Jews were not permitted to live in major cities of Russia without permission.   Chaim was able to obtain a permit but his best friend Avram could not. They were standing on street corner when they noticed a policemen walking toward them. “Avram, he’s coming this way. What should we do?” asked Chaim, fearful for his friend. ”Mmmm, let me think. Aha, I know,” said Avram.   “You start running and he will run after you. Since you have permission to be here, nothing can happen to you. That will give me time to get away. So Chaim began running.   Predictably, the policeman set off after him. It took several minutes before the policeman finally caught up with him. ”Hey you,” barked the policeman, “What is the idea of running like that? Wait a second. You are a Jew, aren’t you? I can always tell Jews. I bet you do not even have permission to be here.” “But I do, “ protested Chaim, pulling out the official paper. ”So if you have...