A Soulful Journey

In Scotland a tale is told of a little old lady who made her own whiskey.  Coming up with a new batch she placed the hot liquid on her doorstep to cool off.  Meanwhile, a grazing cow approached the house and tasted the hot whiskey.  Gradually, the cow finished it off.  Later, coming out to see if the brew had cooled, she saw an empty bucket and looked around to see if the culprit was nearby.  Now the cow, having drunk so much alcohol, was hardly in a position to go very far so the old woman grabbed a stick and began to beat the animal.  Meanwhile, the farmer saw the proceedings and put and end to the old lady's beating.  Incensed, the woman took the farmer to court.  The judge listened and asked only two questions: 1. "Was the animal standing upright at time the of the crime?"  The lady replied, "yes." 2. "Was the said liquor imbibed at the doorstep?"  Again, she answered, "yes." The judge proclaimed that the case be thrown out of cou...

A man used to drink two small glasses of schnapps every day.   He would say, “One I drink for me and another I have for a friend that died.”   He set into the practice of having two drunks in front of him at lunch, seven days each week. One day, returning from a doctor’s visit, he ordered only one glass.   “Why?   What happened that you are only ordering one?” He answered, “the doctor told me to give up drinking.   So now I just have one for my old friend.” Drinking in Judaism is a sacred act, one which requires a blessing.  We must not succumb to the vice of abuse.

Two acquaintances were sitting in a restaurant.  The first ate fish while the other consumed a portion of ham.  The s ame one then asked for a drink of liquor and so he called, "The fish wants to swim." The waiter understood immediately and brought him a drink. The other man, thinking how clever that interchange was, called out, "The pig wants to drink." Did this ever happen to you when you wanted to be clever but instead "stepped in it?"  Moral: Don't be clever.  Just be you.