A Soulful Journey

“It was late in the afternoon, close to the start of Kol Nidre, the evening prayer for Yom Kippur. Congregants in white began to crowd around the entrance to the synagogue.  “Rabbi, why are you standing in front of the doors? We can’t get in.” Everyone was anxious to find a seat and begin the service. “I’m sorry. We’re full,” the rabbi responded.  “There is no room for you in the sanctuary.” There was a murmur in the group until finally one of the oldest synagogue members     spoke up. “Rabbi, that’s not possible. We’re all standing out here. I can see through the glass that not one person is in the building.” “Trust me. It’s full,” the rabbi retorted.  “It’s so full of promises and vows you made and never kept that there is no room for anything else, even for you.”   -Rabbi Toba August

It's Erev Rosh Hashanah, and services are about to begin. The Synagogue is packed.  As the congregants are milling around, shmoozing before services, everyone seems to be distracted by a man who has brought with him a St. Bernard dog. "What chutzpah! " an elderly woman whispers aloud. Services begin, and everyone is fascinated by how well the dog behaves. The next morning, the man and his dog arrive early and promptly begin dovening. This time, the dog is wearing its own little tallis and yarmulke, and even appears, upon closer inspection, to be shuckling back and forth as the hazzan intones the prayers. The congregation is amazed. The week goes by and Kol Nidre arrives. The solemn worship service begins.  The man and his dog are back, and this time, just as the hazzan is about to begin the prayers, the dog stands up on its hind legs and howls "Ba-ROOOOOOOCH....!" more melodically than the best hazzan. After the service, everyone is clamoring to...

Gottlieb called his Rabbi and said, "I know tonight is Kol Nidre, but tonight the Yankees start the playoffs.  Rabbi, I'm a life long Yankee fan.  I've got to watch the Yankee game on TV". The Rabbi responds, "Gottlieb, that's what VCR's are for". Gottlieb is surprised. "You mean I can tape Kol Nidre? –Dov Peretz Elkins