Khaimovich applied to emigrate from the USSR. He was called to OVIR and notified that his application had been refused. "But why?" he protested. "Because you are in possession of state secrets from your place of work." "Sate secrets? You must be kidding. In my field, the Americans are at least 20 years ahead of us." "That's precisely the secret." Rabinovich was call to OVIR to discuss his application to emigrate to Israel. "Isn't everything good for you here, Rabinovich? Don't you have all that you need?" asked the OVIR official. "Well," began Rabinovich, "the fact of the matter is that I have two reasons for wanting to emigrate. The first is because of the neighbor who comes home stone-drunk every night and tarts cursing the Jews. He always says that as soon as the Communists are overthrown, he and his Russian friends will go out and hang all the Jews." "But Rabinovich, you know that...
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