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Showing posts from March, 2016

Put it Down

Two monks were casually walking through the woods, chatting.   As they approached a river they saw a scantily clad woman trying to cross it.   The older monk decided he would go over and help her.   The younger one warned against going to her. Nevertheless the older monk picked the woman up despite the urgings of his younger comrade and carried her across. Some time later the younger monk complained, “You should not have picked that lady up.” Retorted the elder, “I put her down a long time ago.” Moral? Put down what you have been carrying. It is way to heavy to continually bear.   Then move on.

Getting All People to Like You

A cantor held a position in a synagogue for many years.   The people became tired of him but the president did not want to tell the cantor what the congregation thought.   It was decided that this question should be taken to a closed ballot at a meeting.   After the vote was cast it was discovered there was only one person who voted for the cantor; all others were against    The cantor was humiliated and turned pale.   The people, seeing his reaction, regretted the incident and each approached the cantor apologetically, saying, “I gave you my vote.   That individual vote was mine.” Every person gave the same story.   Finally, the cantor said, “Yes, my friends, individually you are good, but all together you are good for nothing.”    

God is Real

“Either God is but a word not designating anything real or He is at least as real as the man I see in front of me.”  - Abraham Joshua Heschel Who decides what is real and important in life?  Only you.

God as Puppet

“If only God would give me some clear sign – like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank.”   -Woody Allen He is right. Most of us argue against God using as a proof that life does not bend to our will.   If that did happen, what would that say about God?

London Bridge Isn't Falling Down

"Robert E. McCulloch was a millionaire with big ideas.   McCulloch’s big idea was completely outrageous but comparatively benign.   He started by building his own dream town besides one of the lakes that the lower Colorado has become. But after he had done it, and named the town Lake Havasu City, and filled it with streets and Houses and golf courses and all, he still wasn’t satisfied.   The city still needed something, a centerpiece.   McCulloch thought London Bridge would be nice.   So he went to London and bought it.   He shipped it over from the River Thames, every stone of it, and put it up in the Arizona desert, and only then detoured the Colorado so that the bridge would have a river to cross.   More than a million people make a special trip every year to see if it’s true that London Bridge is not in Arizona."   –Charles Kuralt I magination is a great thing.  Look at any kid with a bunch of Legos and see the magic they can do.  We have that ins

Want

Once when the Yehudi (the Yid of Pshishke) was walking cross-country, he came upon a wagon which had turned over. “Help me raise it up!” said the driver. The Rabbi tried but he could not budge it. “I can’t,” he finally said. The peasant looked at him sternly.   “You can all right,” said he, “but you don’t want to.” On the evening of that day the Yehudi went to his disciples: “I was told today: We can raise up the Name of God, but we don’t want to.” – Martin Buber, Late Masters Anything is possible if we have the will.  Our problem is there is a part of us that holds back and, as a result, our efforts are not whole.

Staying Alive

An old joke about the plight of Soviet Jews tells of Khaimovich who applied to emigrate.   OVIR refused his application. “But why?” protested Khaimovich. “Because you are in possession of state secrets,” explained the OVIR official. “State secrets?   You must be kidding.   In my field, the Americans are at least 20 years ahead of us.” “That’s precisely the state secret.” We use humor to give us power, especially when we feel powerless.