"Anyone who gives tzedaka in a brusk manner with gloom over their face nullifies the merit of the act. Even with the gift was a thousand pieces of gold is the tzedaka voided. One must give cheerfully, with a whole heart, sympathizing with the receiver. As it is written: "Did I not weep for the one whose day was difficult? Was not my soul pained for the sake of the poor?" (Job 30:25).
Rambam, Mishnah Torah, "Gifts to the Poor" 10:4
We know that tzedaka is a mitzvah. that is, it is a non negotiable deed that is required of us by God. What is no mandated is how we feel about doing the tzedaka or what is our physical disposition when we act.
Rambam comes to inform us that as an additional feature of tzedaka* - we must be joyful (or at least appear that way) in the act. There is need to further degrade the needy by making them feel like they are depriving us with their hand outstretched to us.
Preserving the dignity of a human is paramount. After all, what is left of a person when their dignity is ripped from them? What remains when their self respect is shattered?
Rabbi Eleazar goes further. He states, "The reward of charity depends entirely on the extent of the kindness in it." -Sukkah 49b
Rabbi Eleazar's belief is that all our actions are accountable to the Lord. Why would we wish to squander a perfectly good opportunity to please God by snarling at the recipient? Better to think, thank, smile, and give. Then the Holy One looks at His children, smiles on us, and blesses us for the good measure and the good heart.
*Ten percent of of income must go to the poor.
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