When not to Accept

At the turn of the century, Hayyim Soloveitchik, the rabbi of the Eastern European city of Brisk, a scholar of extraordinary renown, revered also for his gentleness, took a train in Warsaw to return home. The rabbi’s slight appearance did not betray his greatness. He found a seat in a compartment surrounded by traveling salesmen who started to play cards. The rabbi sat there reading but his disinterest in the game annoyed the card players one of whom suggested that he join in. He politely declined saying that he never played cards. The salesman increasingly badgered the rabbi and finally threatened him. “Either join us or leave.”

With that he picked up the rabbi by the collar and threw him out of the compartment. When the rabbi and the salesman got off at Brisk the rabbi was surrounded by his admirers, and the salesman discovered the rabbi’s true identity. His heart sank and he went over to the rabbi to ask for forgiveness.

“I would like to forgive you, but I can’t,” he said.

In the hotel, the salesman could find no peace and went to the rabbi’s house and offered to give all his savings to charity if only the rabbi would forgive him.

“No!” said the rabbi.

The salesman went to the synagogue to ask some of the worshipers how their rabbi, such a gentle person, could be so unforgiving. They suggested that he speak with the rabbi’s eldest son who agreed to discuss the matter with his father. And with trepidation he did so.

The rabbi of Brisk answered his son quite directly: “How can I forgive him? He never insulted me. He did not know who I was. Had he had any idea, he would never have acted as he did. He wants forgiveness? Let him go find a poor anonymous Jew sitting on a train reading a book and ask him for forgiveness!”