A young man knocks on the door of a great Talmudic scholar.
"Rabbi, I wish to study Talmud."
“Do you know Aramaic?”
“No."
“Hebrew?”
“No."
“Have you ever studied Torah?”
“No, Rabbi, but I graduated from Harvard summa cum laude in
philosophy, and received a PhD from Yale. I'd like to round out my education
with a bit of Talmud.”
“I doubt that you are ready for Talmud. It is the broadest and
deepest of books. If you wish, however, I will examine you in logic, and if you
pass the test I will teach you Talmud.”
"Good. I'm well versed in logic."
"First question. Two burglars come down a chimney. One
emerges with a clean face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his
face?”
”The burglar with the dirty face."
“Wrong. The one with the clean face. Examine the logic. The
burglar with a dirty face looks at the one with a clean face and thinks his
face is clean. The one with a clean face looks at the burglar with a dirty face
and thinks his face is dirty. So the one with the clean face washes.”
“Very clever. Another question please.”
“Two burglars come down a chimney. One emerges with a clean
face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?”
“We established that. The burglar with the clean face washes.”
“Wrong. Both wash. Examine the logic. The one with a dirty face
thinks his face is clean. The one with a clean face thinks his face is dirty.
So the burglar with a clean face washes. When the one with a dirty face sees
him washing, however, he realizes his face must be dirty too. Thus both wash.”
“I didn’t think of that. Please ask me another.”
“Two burglars come down a chimney. One emerges with a clean
face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?”
“Well, we know both wash.”
“Wrong. Neither washes. Examine the logic. The one with the
dirty face thinks his face is clean. The one with the clean face thinks his
face is dirty. But when clean-face sees that dirty-face doesn’t bother to wash,
he also doesn’t bother. So neither washes. As you can see, you are not ready
for Talmud.”
"Rabbi, please, give me one more test.”
“Two burglars come down a chimney. One emerges with a clean
face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?”
“Neither!”
“Wrong. And perhaps now you will see why Harvard and Yale cannot
prepare you for Talmud. Tell me, how is it possible that two men come down the
same chimney, and one emerges with a clean face, while the other has a dirty
face?"
"But you've just given me four contradictory answers to the
same question! That's impossible!"
"No,
my son, that's Talmud."
-Rabbi Samuel Press
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