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Showing posts from July, 2023

Survival

President Biden tells a story about a meeting that he had with PM Golda Meir after the Yom Kippur war.  Then Senator Biden asked the Prime Minister to account for Israel’s improbable success, and Meir answered “We have a secret weapon - we don’t have another country.” 

Awake and Asleep

  An old Hasidic tale:     “When a tailor is awake he is a tailor but when he sleeps he is no longer a tailor.     When a carpenter is awake he is a carpenter but when he sleeps he is no longer a carpenter.     However, though a rabbi is awake is indeed a rabbi, he remains a rabbi even when he sleeps.”

What Continues to Live

The Talmud records that Rabbi Yehudah the Prince grew old, was afflicted with a long and painful illness. The Rabbis sent their colleague, Bar Kapparah, to see how Rabbi Yehudah was doing. Bar Kapparah returned, and reported that, “Angels and humans were struggling to possess the Ark. The angels have triumphed, and the Ark has been captured. The body that lives in the coffin before us was a Holy Ark, which house the spirit, soul, that was the very embodiment of Torah.”   Talmud records that when Bar Kapparah had reported that the angels had triumphed and the Holy Ark had been captured by them, the rabbis responded, “Do you mean to say that Rabbi Yehudah had died?  He responded, “You said it, not I.”  For Bar Kapparah, Rabbi Yehudah did not die. He remained alive.   Today, through the Mishna of that he edited, it remains even as the day when he wrote it. -Rabbi Simon Greenberg  

Defining Good....

  Mencius once asked his disciple to describe a good man.     “A good man is one who is loved by everybody,” he was told.   “No,” he rejoined.  “A good man is a man who is loved by the good and hated by the bad.” Christians would say, “A good man is one who loves everybody.” Jews would say, “A good man loves the good and hates the bad.”

Listen

Once two friends were walking down the sidewalk on a busy street during rush hour.  There were all sorts of noise in the city; car horns honking, feet shuffling, people talking! And amid all the noise, one of the friends turned to the other and said,  “I hear a cricket.” “No way,”  her friend responded.  “How could you hear a cricket with all of this noise? You must be imagining it. Besides, I’ve never seen a cricket in the city.” “No really, I do hear a cricket. I’ll show you.”   She stopped for a moment, then led her friend across the street to a big cement planter with a tree in it.  Pushing back the leaves she found a little brown cricket. “That’s amazing!”  said her friend,  “You must have a super-human hearing. What’s your secret?” “No, my hearing is just the same as yours. There’s no secret,”  The first woman replied.  “Watch, I’ll show you.”   She reached into her pocket, pulled out some loose change, and threw it on the sidewalk.   Amid all of the noise of the city, everyone w

The Days of a Tzaddik

Of Jacob the Torah says, Vayikravu y'mie Israel l'moot, "And the days of Israel approach death." Of Moses, Writ states,  Hayn karvu yamekha l'loot, "Your days are drawing near to die." Of David, it says, V ayikravu y'mei David l'moot, "And the days of David drew towards death." Shimon ben Lakish commented: The "days" of the righteous will come to a close but they do not.

Outtakes on the Afterlife

  Irv and Seymour make a pact that the first one who gets to heaven will contact the other.    Unfortunately Seymour passes away some months later, but lo and behold, visits Irv in a dream.    Irv is so excited and has questions: Seymour, it's you? What's it like where you are?    Seymour says: it's beautiful here: rolling hills, big grassy lawns, I wander in the meadows all day, sleep under a tree whenever I like, and best of all, every morning and night there's a fifty-foot all you can eat buffet!    Irv says: that's what heaven is like? It sounds wonderful!     Seymour: Heaven? Who said anything about heaven? I got reincarnated as a bull in Wisconsin!     -Rabbi  Neal Loevinger   An engineer dies and goes up to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, St Peter says to the engineer "Sorry pal, you're not on the list. You can't get into heaven." The engineer says, "Wait a minute, I always donated to charity, my wife and I raised two orphans we adopted, I

The Flower

Once there was a great lover of nature, who had a beautiful garden filled with the lovely flowers of the world. He was a kind soul, and always gave flowers to the children, supply them for parties, and all sorts of occasions. One summer, the doctor ordered him to spend his vacation in the country as his health was declining.   When he returned, the garden was neglected. The flowers were all but gone. In a few corners there were small white roses still blooming. He gazed at them thoughtfully.   One morning a flower was missing, and he began to weep. “Tell me grandfather, why do you cry?  I remember when, in the spring you would put flowers and give them to everyone now you make a fuss over one little flower.”   “Yes, little one, there’s a difference between then and now. The bright sun and the fruitful earth would bring masses of flowers then. One flower would wither and 10 more would take its place. Today the beautiful garden is gone. So when one flower disappears now there was no othe

Valley of the Shadow

 God, I am traveling out to death's sea, I, who exulted in sunshine and laughter, Dreamed not of dying - death is such waste of me! Grant me one prayer: Doom not the hereafter Of mankind to war, as though I had died not - I, who in battle, my comrade's arm linking, Shouted and sang, life in my pulses hot, Throbbing and dancing! Let no my sinking In the dark be for naught, my death a vain thing! God, let me know not the end of man's fever! Make my last breath a bugle call, carrying Peace o'er the valleys and cold hills forever! John Galsworthy

Stories on Olam HaBa

Several years after the Satmar Rebbe died, one of his most devoted Hassidim passed away.  When he entered the hereafter, an angel asked, "Reb Yossel, now that you are here, do you have any requests?" Yossel responded "Yes, I would love to see my beloved Rebbe, Rabbi Teitelbaum". A few minutes later, he hears some harp music and a golden throne descends from the clouds.  But remarkably, sitting on the Rebbe's lap is a gorgeous voluptuous blonde vixen, scantily clad - with an amazing figure. Yossel is both stunned and excited at the same time. He asks "Rebbe is this your heaven?"  And the Rebbe responds sadly, "No, she's not my heaven - I'm her HELL!"  ******** When the Satmar Rebbe died, he was immediately welcomed into heaven.   The ministering angel says "Rebbe, we're so honored to have you here. We would love to host a banquet in honor of your arrival." The Rebbe says, "I hope it's okay to ask, but can you tel

Way to Heaven

  "A rabbi dies and finds himself waiting in line to enter Heaven. The guy ahead of him has a shaved head, gold chains, leather jacket, and shades.  The angel Gabriel asks the bald guy, “Name and occupation?” “Rafi Eskenazy, taxi driver.” Gabriel checks his list and says with a broad smile: “Yes!!! Shalom aleichem! Silk robe, gold staff. Welcome to Heaven!” Next comes the rabbi. “Name and occupation?” The rabbi draws himself up with great dignity and says, “Avraham Baruch Cohen, Senior Rabbi of Beth Jacob Synagogue for 37 years.” Gabriel checks his list and barely nods, “Yup. Cotton robe, wooden staff. Keep it moving please.” “Hold it,” says Rabbi Cohen, “the man before me was a taxi driver. Why does he get special attention?” “Up here, it’s all about results,” says Gabriel. “When you sermonized, people slept. When he drove, people prayed.” Rabbi Claudio Kupchik