The President of Iran was sitting in his office when his telephone rang.
“Salaam! Mr. President," a heavily accented voice said. "This is Moshe from a small town in Israel. I am ringing to inform you that our morning minyan is officially declaring war on you!”
"Well, Moshe," the Iranian President replied, "This is indeed important news! Tell me, how big is your army?" "At this moment in time," said Moshe after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Shlomy, my next door neighbor Yossi, and the entire 6:00 am morning minyan — that makes 18!”
The President sighed. "I must tell you Moshe that I have 1 million men in my army waiting to move on my command. If you attack, you’ll be dead the moment your foot touches Iranian territory.”
"Oy vay!", said Moshe, "I'll have to ring you back!" Sure enough, the next day Moshe rang back. "All Right Mr. President, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Moshe?" The President asked.
"Well, at the kibbutz we have 2 combine harvesters that we can use as tanks, a bulldozer and Yossi’s tractor."
Once more the President sighed. "I must tell you, Moshe, that the army of the Islamic Republic has 16 thousand tanks, 14 thousand armored personnel carriers, and my army has increased to 1 and a half million since we last spoke."
"Really?!" said Moshe "I'll have to ring you back!" Sure enough, Moshe rang again the next day. "Hello Mr. President, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Shimon's crop duster with a couple of rifles in the cockpit and the 8:00 am Minyan has joined us as well!"
The President was silent for a minute, then sighed. "I must tell you Moshe that the Iranian air force has 10 thousand bombers, 20 thousand MiG 19 attack planes, my military complex is surrounded by laser-guided surface-to-air missile sites, and since we last spoke, my army has increased to 2 million. And in case you haven’t been following the news, we’re gonna have a nuclear bomb in like ten days.”
"Oo lah lah!", said Moshe, "I'll have to ring you back. "Sure enough, Moshe called again the next day. "Mr. President, I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war." "I'm sorry to hear that" said the President. "Why the sudden change of heart?”
"Well," said Moshe "We've all had a chat, and there's no way we can feed 2 million prisoners."
-Rabbi E Garfinkle
Such humor sustains us when dark days come. We are resilient and will always find a way through and move toward the light.
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