Tefillin

Pursuit of such peace and civility does not mean that we can or ought to avoid all controversies. That is generally impossible, and especially so in the context of such a tense and contentious society as that of Israel. (I remember her story my grandfather told me, of a young man who appeared one weekday morning in a synagogue adjoined services but failed to put on tefillin.  He resisted the requests of a gabbai and the president until the rabbi approached him and asked for an explanation. He told Rabbi that his father had died and left a will that he, the son, should avoid all controversies. Since there is a dispute between Rashi and Rabbenu Tam as to the nature of tefillin, he therefore avoided tefillin altogether...  Rabbi Norman Lamm

It is admirable to avoid negative confrontations that have no resolution.  At the same time, it is disempowering to avoid meaningful conversations and decisions no matter how hard they are.