Moshe, a new member of the shul, was asked to do hagbah. It was awful, a pitiful sight. He could barely lift the sefer Torah; he almost dropped it and, clutching it shakily, sat down very quickly.
He was very embarrassed so he made a resolution to go to the gym and work out. For the next few months, he lifted weights and did push-ups, sit ups, and pull ups. He got himself buff and ready.
Simchat Torah came and Moshe was all set. He went to shul, all excited and ready to be called. Of course, during Hallel, when the drinks were passed round, he indulged. Then it happened! He heard the gabbai call his name so he rushed up to the bimah, grabbed the sefer Torah, lifted it, and, arms wide, opened up at least ten columns—the hardest Hagbah of the year! He swung the Torah to the left and then to the right, according to the halakhah, so everyone could see the text.
He felt very proud of his perfect hagbah. Turning to the gabbai he asked, “So, how was it?”
“Well, Moshe, your hagbah was great, but I called you up for shlishi.” -Rabbi Danny Pressman
Oy.
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