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Honest Prayer

In October 1973 the Egyptian and Syrian armies attacked Israel on the morning of Yom Kippur, the Day Atonement, when all Jews spend the day in Synagogue, fasting and praying.  Many lives were lost in those first hours of fighting.  I heard of a man who went to his rabbi a few days later and told him: “When I heard the news about the fighting in Israel, I slammed my prayer book shut and walked out of the synagogue.  I said to myself, ‘If God is going to let young Jewish boys be killed for defending their country on Yom Kippur I am not going to sit here reciting psalms to Him.’  
I walked out of Temple and spent the rest of the holiday sitting at home, angry at God.  Now, three days later, I feel embarrassed by what I did.  I feel guilty for walking out on the Yom Kippur service and I want to know what I can do to make up for it.

The rabbi told him, “You have nothing to feel guilty about and nothing to apologize for.  Your slamming the book down and storming out was probably the most sincere prayer anybody offered in synagogue all day long.  The God I believe in is not so fragile that you hurt Him by being angry at Him, or so petty that he will hold it against you for being upset with Him.  I believe He is just as upset about people being killed in the war as you are, and He respects good, clean, honest anger as much as you and I do, and a lot more than He respects mumbled prayers by people going through the motions.”  -Rabbi Harold Kushner

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